First or no first?

I have always been a very ambitious person. I seldom settle for things that are second best, nor would I allow myself to be merely an average status teamplayer in a group. I always secretly yearn to be the apex of a system rather than just a component. In things that really matter to me, I will aim to be the first and the best. And if things don't go my way, I can tend to get fustrated and annoyed at myself for not achieving what I am supposed to. Perhaps at times I demand too much from myself, believing too much in my own abilities and potential. Overconfidence probably sums up better.

Does being the 'first' really matter so much? 'First' does not nesseccarily equate to 'best'. Take for example:

There are 10 people (me included) waiting for a lift. All the ten of us are going up to the tenth floor. I, being the ambitious one, always wanting to be the first, will be aiming to be the first to enter the lift. I've succeeded. I became the first among the ten of us to enter the lift. So what's next? I moved to the back of the lift to allow the other 9 of them to come in. Eventually I ended up at the rear of the lift, with a wall of 9 human bodies obstructing me from being the first to get out of the lift. When the lift reaches the tenth floor, you don't need a rocket scientist to guess if I would still be the first to get out of the lift.

Morale of the story?

1) Being 'first' doesn't really mean anything. Do you still remember who came in first in the Miss Universal back in 1995? Do you still remember who topped the Weekly Top 40 chart 12 weeks ago?

2) If being 'first' really matters so much, you have to be ruthless. Enter the lift and 'park' yourself at a position nearest to the door and make sure when the lift hits tenth floor, push everyone else back and dash out as fast as you can. Crazy it can be, but sometimes it takes a little insainity to reach your goals.