What if...?

I suddenly had so many ‘what ifs’ popping up in my mind. At the recent YEN camp I attended, I’ve met up with many of my SIM friends whom I have not seen for like the past… 5-6 months? Saw Jem and Huimin together as a couple, know of Gil and Gen attaching to each other and a few others finding their other halves. Sometimes it makes me wonder…

What if I still…
What if I did…
What if I didn’t…
What if we…

I know I shouldn’t be still harboring those blind dreams. Call me a sentimental fool, or even a pathetic dreamer, I won’t shy away from these tags. It’s been six months already, my wounds should have been healed, yet I know I’m still taking medication without fail each day, trying to find my solace.

To this day, that precious book still lies on my bookshelf, unread and untouched. I know one day I will get out of this mire completely, flip the pages and finally start reading it. And I do know that I will become stronger and wiser than I am six months ago.

As the saying goes, setbacks will make a person stronger in future, and it never prove wrong.

Wake up Val, wake up! Someone slap me awake please! Yes, sometimes I need to remind myself how silly I still can be. But it's almost 3 am now, so I shall go sleep and wake up only later in the morning. Zzzz...